"You smell like the garbage truck," they'd say.
"Careful, he bites."
By middle school, it was routine.
If I walked by, people would pinch their noses in slow motion.
If we did group work, I'd be the last pick, the spare chair.
At home, though, I was a different person.
I learned the layout of every school hallway because I was always looking for places to eat alone.
My favorite spot ended up being behind the vending machines by the old auditorium.
Quiet. Dusty. Safe.
At home, though, I was a different person.
"You're the smartest boy in the world."
"How was school, mi amor?" Mom would ask, peeling off rubber gloves, fingers red and swollen.
I'd kick my shoes off and lean on the counter.
"It was good," I'd say. "We're doing a project. I sat with some friends. Teacher says I'm doing great."
She'd light up.
"Of course. You're the smartest boy in the world."
I couldn't tell her that some days I didn't say 10 words out loud at school.
Education became my escape plan.
That I ate lunch alone.
That when her truck turned down our street while kids were around, I pretended not to see her wave.
She already carried my dad's death, the debt, the double shifts.
I wasn't going to add "My kid is miserable" to her pile.
So I made one promise to myself: If she was going to break her body for me, I was going to make it worth it.
Education became my escape plan.
I'd camp in the library until closing.
We didn't have money for tutors, prep classes, or fancy programs.
What I had was a library card, a beat-up laptop Mom bought with recycled can money, and a lot of stubbornness.
I'd camp in the library until closing.
Algebra, physics, whatever I could find.
At night, Mom would dump bags of cans on the kitchen floor to sort.
I'd sit at the table doing homework while she worked on the ground.
"You're going to go further than me."
Every once in a while, she'd nod at my notebook.
"You understand all that?"
"Mostly," I'd say.
"You're going to go further than me."
High school started, and the jokes got quieter but sharper.
People didn't yell "trash boy" anymore.
Make fake gagging sounds under their breath.
They did stuff like:
Slide their chairs an inch away when I sat.
Make fake gagging sounds under their breath.
